New Cudi Joints

Kid Cudi dropped some new shits yesterday: a new song called "Daps & Pounds," and a new mixtape called "Dat Kid From Cleveland."
Here's the song:

The beat is good, but at times the piano sample gets chopped up a little abruptly, but I don't really mind. It's a smooth track with an old-school lyric-centric feel. Cudi kills tracks pretty regularly, and this is no exception, although you have to listen pretty carefully to hear everything. My favorite line is "Don't run on beats, motherfucker I frolic." How funny! :-) Download the track here.
I haven't listened to the mixtape yet, but you can download and tell me what you think so I don't have to do all the work for you all the time. Lots of the songs are shits that I've already heard, but regardless I'm excited for the new jams. Download it here bruh.

"Daps & Pounds" - Sick
"Dat Kid From Cleveland" - Pending

Face of the Year

Last night's Celtics game busted extremely hard, but Ray Allen's big 3's were only the second-greatest thing of the night. Nothing could ever top KG's epic post-game lip curl. Here's a close-up:

...and again...

Here are some smaller, less prominent (but still indubitably badass) shots:

...and finally...

We cannot, and must not, underestimate the importance and mystical power of the lip curl. If the Celtics somehow overcome injuries to every key player and nearly-dead front office members to reach the conference finals, then I think we all know that the lip curl is at least 97% responsible.
Try to look at it and not shit your pants.

The KG Lip Curl - Greatest Thing of All-Time (The Departed)

Authentic Australian Shit Of The Week: #3

Attention LD222, if you want to throw some more ragers this summer I suggest this song be somewhere in the middle of your playlist, nestled between the inevitable party anthems I Love College and Crack A Bottle. Bitches will be downing their cups of natty ice to Asher and suddenly this shit starts rattling their brains... shit bruh that party's finna get outta hand somethin serious. Clothes will fly off, the other wooden chair will be broken, your barn will most likely burn to the ground, and it'll be album release party X2. This shit goes more than hard in the Aussie clubs over here. Crazy mofo's wild out on the dance floor while I two step it at the bar downing my Toohey's New. Get Shaky after school bitch.

Get Shaky- Sooo Sick

Good News For KG: He Remembers How To Dribble

The big ticket took the first step towards recovery today when he returned to the practice floor and thankfully retained his skill of dribbling. Steve Bulpett gives us the details in his riveting and revelatory Boston Herald report:

Garnett appeared on the team’s practice floor wearing full workout gear. He proceeded to dribble a basketball as he walked slowly around the perimeter of the court, with strength coach Bryan Doo watching intently. Trainer Ed Lacerte came out of his office and sat at the far end of the floor to watch the event.
After four minutes, Garnett, Doo and Lacerte walked through a door that leads to the weight room at the team’s facility.

Back in the weight room the trainer confirmed that Garnett's right leg, in fact, does still exist. Tomorrow Garnett will work on his bounce passes and left handed lay-ups. At this rate he will see game action in a mere 458 years.

RAY RAY!!!!

YAY YAY!!!

Ray Allen Game Winning 3 Pointers- Greatest Thing of All Time(The Departed)

I Was In The Sky

Whether or not there is a demand for me to recount the stories of my Spring Break week did not factor into my decision on whether or not to write this post. The immensity and intensity of the past week of my life is far to much of a presence to be ignored, so even if only one of our 17-25 daily readers want to hear about this, it is still necessary to be shared.

I began the week driving a 4X4 through the beaches and one way roads of Fraser Island. The worlds largest sand island, whooppeeee. There were nine of us in the truck with hundreds of pounds of our luggage directly above our head. This genius design made the vehicle incredibly susceptible to tipping. At the time I thought tipping might be fun and we nearly did many times throughout the three days spent on Fraser, but once returning home and reading this article I discovered tipping might not have been a very enjoyable experience. The whole process is really just a horrible idea. Sending a group of college students with dozens of goon bags (cheap ass wine), out on this island, who have zero experience driving these types of machines and driving on soft sand and crazy ass rocks, is a recipe for disaster. It rained the entire time I was there and I literally woke up soaking in a poodle that had creeped in to our "waterproof" tents the second night. Every girl on the trip thought it was the worst thing of all time(Fraser Island), but I personally still had a great time and used the whole thing as a learning experience to live off soggy bread and fight dingoes. Driving over these rocks was probably the best part of the trip, enjoy my truckmates face as we trek over some jarring path.

After seeing some more cool ass shit on the sandy vagina that is Fraser Island my group of traveling partners and I took a 12 hour bus ride over night to a nice little town called Airlie beach and boarded a boat to sail around the Whitsunday Islands. The Whitsundays are a group of 74 islands off the coast of Eastern Australia. After a couple days of inevitable Lonely Island quotations, snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef, going to the 7th best beach in the world, sea sickness and hangovers it was time to leave our schooner and sample the Airlie beach nightlife, but one small activity would arise between the boat and our last night on vacay... just a little thing called skydiving. One of my friends had planned on doing it over the Whitsundays the entire trip but I never even considered it. I always planned on doing it here in Wollongong, but after an hour or so of convincing I was 12,000 feet in the air with my feet dangling out of a fucking airplane. It's tough to explain your thoughts at that point. The first time you skydive you must do a tandem dive with a professional attached to you, so you really aren't that nervous considering they do all the important stuff like pulling the chute. The feeling that dominated my mind was mainly just, "let's get this over with". Sitting in the plane I just felt the need to be back on the ground and wanted to fly through the air as fast as possible to get my feet back on the earth where they belong. This feeling doesn't last long considering as soon as you jump and you are rocketing towards the earth at terminal velocity, and the skin on your face sucks to your bones, and your mouth fills up with air and you basically look like a massive doofus, there isn't much else to think than HOOOLLLY FUCKIIING SHIT!!!! The free fall lasted 40 seconds then the parachute deploys and you float peacefully down to earth a changed man. Just check this pic and then imagine seeing this shit from the heavens.

Once regaining my ability to comprehend things on land, we headed back to Airlie and had a less than uneventful night. Talking to a prostitute, musical chairs with beds, and a certain white shirt made the night more than noteworthy. Now it's back to real world and blogging up a storm.

Easter Break- Greatest Thing of All Time(The Departed)

2Pac is Alive and Well...and a Celtics Fan

This photo pretty much speaks for itself. Obviously 2Pac has just come out of hiding, since he's still rocking his mid-90s Antoine jersey, and isn't really up on the times.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The best 2 months of 2008 were mid-April to mid-June due to the NBA playoffs. It looks like we can already throw in the towel. It's been reported that Kevin Garnett probably will not particpate in the post season this year. If you want more info on the sitch click here. I can't type through the tears anymore.

Kevin Garnett missing the post season - Worst Thing of All Time (The Jonas Brothers)

David Ortiz Is No Longer "Good"

Big win for the Sox yesterday, with early Cy Young front-runner Tim Wakefield coming up big with a no-hit bid. JD Drew also showed some signs of life, as did pretty much everyone in the lineup (Jason Bay has been absolutely raking so far; his OBP is up around .500). David "Large Father" Ortiz even decided to get a hit, as he laced a rocket down the right field line for a double in the big eighth inning rally.
Unfortunately for Papi, it was his only hit of the day, and his average sits at .176 with an even more feeble .206 slugging percentage. The statistical struggles are just one thing, as our friend Buster Olney points out:

It's early, of course, and there are weeks and months left for Ortiz to find his Big Papi opposite-field power stroke that made him one of the most feared hitters in baseball. But here's the part that has to concern the Red Sox: He looks as bad as his numbers indicate. Opposing talent evaluators are stunned by the regression in his bat speed, by how different a hitter he seems to be as compared to what he was in his prime.

Anyone who has watched the team over the past two seasons has noticed Papi's drastic drop in production/ability, and it's been pretty obvious: he's late on fastballs (he swung through an 87-mph offering yesterday), he's rolling over off-speed pitches into the shift, and he rarely takes anything to the opposite field with any authority. Obviously it's still early, but all indications are that Big Papi should probably change his name to Big Grandpapi sometime soon (HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!).
No but really, this sucks.

Welcome Back Doggies

The Portland Sea Dogs season is in session. I grabbed a 2009 season schedule courtesy a la Subway and I perused over important dates.

Personal mandatory attendance promotion dates are as follows:

4/30 - David Ortiz bobblehead night

5/22 - Fireworks (presented by WBLM)

6/17 - Jed Lowrie bobblehead night

6/18 - Fireworks (it's the night before my birthday so they obviously created their schedule around that)

7/3 - Fireworks (not mandatory - only attendance at 2 fireworks is required)

7/7 - Justin Masterson bobblehead night

9/1 - Jon Lester bobblehead night

9/3 - Fireworks (again, not mandatory)

As you can see I only listed bobblehead nights and fireworks display nights. The other promotions are either lame or child orientated (i.e. Neil Diamond Impersonater). Bobblehead nights are mandatory due to the fact that any bobblehead owned by yours truly immeadiately becomes a voodoo doll. This was discovered when Jon "Fatty" Fulford broke my Kirby Puckett bobblehead and Kirby died shortly thereafter. If you're interested in the promotion dates you can find them here.

Red Sox Lose Again

What? Javier Lopez is coming in next inning? NO!!!!!!

The Sox dropped a massive farty poop stink bomb last night, and this was probably one of the most frustrating Red Sox games I've watched in the Theo era.
First, they got off to a great start, rallying for three 2-out runs in the first inning (no thanks to David Ortiz, who I'm afraid might now be what most classify as "ineffective" or "bad"). The rally was encouraging: JD Drew hit a big RBI double (off of a left-handed pitcher!!!!), and Mike Lowell also got off the schnide with a big RBI single. Three runs in the first inning was very promising, especially considering that the Sox had only scored like 9 runs in their first 7 games.*
Unfortunately, the difference between the Red Sox of 2009 (so far) and the Red Sox of past years is that the starting pitchers now are bad, as opposed to good (Tim Wakefield should probably be at the top of the staff right now). Dice-K (more like Dice-BB) was a sloppy soup sandwich in the bottom half of the first frame, giving up FIVE RUNS on five hits and two sloppy walks. To be fair, Jack Cust's RBI single was a weak bloop, but Matt Holliday's double was not, and probably would have gone 950 feet in Coors Field.
Obviously after the first inning ended, the Sox offense went into hibernaysh, because coming back from a deficit is hard, and most of these dudes don't want to try that hard (not really, but that's my hypothesis).
What was encouraging about this game was Justin Masterson, his cool crooked hat, and (pretty much) the rest of the bullpen. J-Mast (right?) pitched 4 scoreless innings, striking out 6 and giving up only 2 hits. The rest of the pen was equally effective: Manny Delcarmen struck out 3 in 1.2 scoreless innings, and new dude Ramon Ramirez (who is quickly emerging as the most effective set-up man we've had since Okajima was good) threw gaseous gases, and Okajima actually was good and pitched 2 hitless innings. Unfortunately, after Papelbon there really wasn't anyone left, which means that J-Lo had to come in and lose the game for the Sox.
Overall, this game was slightly encouraging. The bullpen, which was a major weakness last year, has become a huge strength. Unfortunately the starters are sucking on a fat dick, and things are looking pretty bleak for Lester, as we discussed last week (although a lot of horseshit hits are falling in against him, so eventually things have to even out). Hopefully the offense can be like, not bad, and begin to try, and possibly even score some runs. It's really starting to look like the Sox may have to go out and get a bat by the trading deadline, or possibly sooner, because if they keep this up then they'll be out of it by June. I'm not freaking out yet, but if our starters don't get it into gear soon, and Ortiz doesn't stop rolling over off-speed pitches then we may have some real cause for concern. This game sucked, but it showed some promise.
Plus, Wakefield's going tonight, and he's everyone's early Cy Young favorite.*

Red Sox right now - Shitty

*Not fact-based, but likely

Update

Quick update of upcoming events: Third Eye Blind April 23rd. From there I will be driving to the University of Connecticut for spring weekend which is an event that should be experienced once in your life by every individual. So that would be Friday night. As far as Saturday night goes, I recently found out that there is a Ludacris feat. Asher Roth concert at Tufts University. Luckily, Mac's cousin attends that school and I will be with Mac that entire weekend. To top it off, Ash's album (unleaked) comes out 5 days before that concert!!!! So I'll have a whole 5 days to bump and memorize his tunes so I can go to the concert and be like holy shit there he is that's the kid. Also, Luda would be fun to see in concert I think.

Stay tuned for evaluations of events the weekend of April 23-26.

Find the Typo

Here's the link if you don't believe me, although they might change it soon to something that's like, correct.

Asleep in the Bread Aisle Leaks!!!!

Our most loyal/auto-tuned reader, P, notified me on Sunday night that he had acquired the hotly-anticipated Ash Roth debut, which I've been touting on this site for centuries. Luckily for me, I know how to use Google, and I found a download link for the album, which has since been removed.
After a few listens, I'm ready to give my preliminary review: this album busts. Hard. As fuck.
Oren Yoel handles most of the production, and his beats slap 4 sure. I would say that "Be By Myself" is the best track on the album, and it is pretty much a good encapsulation of the sonic tone of the whole album. Asher spends most of the time rapping about smoking weed, having sex, and being the shit--pretty basic stuff. But he also shows that he's got some cultural consciousness, on the infectious Don Cannon-produced "La Di Da" and he gets introspective and nostalgic on "Fallin," which features my main man John Mayer(!!!!!!!).
Asher also shows that he's got a knack for narrative, on the whimsical "Bad Day," which has a pretty stupid hook, but Asher's rhymes are charismatic and interesting enough to keep you listening.
This album isn't revolutionary. Lyrically it's nothing to write home about (But I probably wouldn't write to my mom or dad about a rap album anyway), and the production is awesome, but not really mind-blowing or ground-breaking. This is pretty much what I expected: this album is popped-out, and definitely intended to crossover, but Asher flexes just enough of his lyrical guns to keep the hip-hop heads interested. It definitely warrants repeated listening, and I am (begrudgingly) going to purchase it next week for 1,299 cents on the biTunes store, because I want to support Asher so that he keeps making music.

Asleep in the Bread Aisle - Sooo sick

Apple Makes a Rare Mistake

Anyone with genitalia knows about the iTunes music store. Most of the time I subvert the use of the store through alternate channels, but sometimes it's necessary to use it to acquire that good shit that you can't get from RedTube or YouPorn. Well, apparently now they offer exclusively "iTunes Plus" material (I still don't know what iTunes Plus means, but I don't think it can be that much better than "iTunes Neutral" or even the always popular "iTunes Negative"). What this means is that every "popular" song costs 129 cents, rather than the traditional 99.
This also means that albums (alba?) cost 1,299 cents, rather than the traditional 999 cents. This is totally fucked, and it makes me mad, because the reason I buy shit on iTunes is that I don't have to pay 13 dollars, like I would at the record store.
Here is a photographic example of the wacksauce new policy, using Paper Trail as exhibit Aaayyyyy:
Needless to say, this makes me mad, because I used to think the iTunes store was like the most perfect entity on earth, but now it's just another cash-hungry corksoaking money-sucker. Now I'm going to have to pay 3 dollars more, and if I do that 10 times, that's an extra 30 dollars, which is like 3 Bennett's subs. Christ jesus, iTunes is taking away our Bennett's!!!!!

iTunes "Plus" - Really shitty

PS, Why is "On Top of the World" the only song that doesn't cost 129 cents? What is so bad about that song? I would argue that it's one of the top 4 on the album, and yet iTunes thinks that it's the worst. Poor B.o.B.