Authentic Australian Shit Of The Week

Ima go ahead and straight jack this concept from my main man Michael Johnson's blog, but I expect no backlash considering he uses WordPress and obviously doesn't want to waste his time on an amateur Blogger, blogspot.com, blog. Anyways just wanted to share a vid of some surfers. The beach was closed this day due to the enormity of the waves, but these surfers weren't gonna let that stop them.

Lyrical Flames

Here's a new track from Jadakiss featuring Mike's boyfriend Nas, called "What If."

I think it's kind of funny that Jadakiss made another song wherein every line is a hypothetical question, not unlike this one. In fact this song is extremely similar to "Why," with the spare two-bar loop beats and the prolonged inquisition. I guess it's a companion piece. It's like "Why?" is Jadakiss's Goodfellas and "What If" is Casino.
Regardless, this song is really very good, and I quite enjoyed Nas's verse. The beat doesn't blow you away, but the lyrics make you think, and isn't that all we ask for in a good hip-hop song? Like, what if the lyrics on this song were bad? Exactly.

"What If" - Sooo sick

More Wale!!!!!

I've been jocking Wale pretty hard lately, seeing as like 4 of the past 5 posts involve him somehow. But who gives a fuck? Here's a new track from my man:

It's a little disappointing to hear him make a song like this, just because it's kind of uninteresting and we know he's capable of making much more compelling and engaging music. The beat is smooth and super laid back, and Wale does his best to keep it fresh, but with a title like "Penthouse Anthem" you're really only going to get so far. His lyrics are good but never really mind-blowing (at least not after the first listen), but this is definitely not a bad song by any means. Every rapper has to make that track that you can listen to while you puff a J and get a blowie from some dimepiece. This is Wale's. Solid, nothing more.

"Penthouse Anthem" - Whatever

Our Work is Never Over

What?

We haven't actually shut down the brog. That was an April Fools joke, and it just so happens that we haven't posted since that day. We're lazy as shit. Plus it's the weekend. Sorry for the confusion/inconvenience.
Evenways, peep that new Kings Like Us track, "Clark K****," right here. You have to wait like 25 seconds for the song to start, but once it does start like you'll be able to hear the song and shit. It sounds like Mannie Fresh, Sean Paul, and T-Pain had a 3-way, but like in a good way. It's a synthed-out durrrrrrty ode to womanizing with a little Jamaican flair. Mon. 3 kills it on the mic once again, and P puts it perfectly in his tripped out auto-tune vocals, "We ain't one-hit wonders/The second one's a stunner." Kanye wishes he could sound like P.
Though it doesn't quite measure up to the brilliance of their first single, "How We Roll," (But how could it? How We Roll is one of the top-10 songs ever recorded) it's still a more-than-solid second single from our favorite New Hampshire hip-hop duo.
There are rumors of a Big 'Stache/Kings Like Us collabo in the works, since I've been churning out beats and lyrics lately like a fucking butter churner, and frankly it would just be foolish for us not to collaborate, given the success of "Smiley 80s" and "How We Roll"/"Clark K****." But hey, whatev, no presh. (Also, 3 didn't fucking like Smiley 80s, so I may never work with him simply out of spite).
Also, watch out for the debut acoustic album from Sneedlow Productions. The early leaked versions of "British Girl" and "Awkward" are both promising, and boast heartfelt, personal lyrics laced with delicate guitar work.

"Clark K****" - Sick

This Is Worth Watching

My favorite part was how this dude got all fucking swagged out and skated towards the goal from the side and shit, and the goalie probably started pissing his pads and thinking this dude was gonna straight own him with the illest deke we've ever seen, but then the shooter just plops it over his shoulder and LQTMs his way back to the bench while the goalie starts to cry laying face down in his own piss.

That was a long sentence.

Shootout Goal- Sick

NEW New Wale

Yesterday I reviewed the first draft of Wale's debut single, "Chillin." Well, as I said once they reworked the song and added the Lady Gaga shit then it would be more listenable, and I was right. The Gaga hook doesn't really add much, and she is so shamelessly and obviously biting MIA that it's just embarrassing, but that's how music works: one band gets famous being original and spawn several imitators who become even more successful (see: Radiohead --> Coldplay). Evenways, here's the track:

Like I said, the Gaga vocals are uninspiring and extremely derivative, and I already analyzed Wale's firey flow yesterday, so now I'd like to briefly address the production. The way Cool n Dre chopped up and flipped this sample impresses me, and I quite enjoy the beat. Just a fantastic song all around.

RIP Metacricket

I'm sorry to say, but after some intense deliberation with my fellow Metacricket contributors we have decided to put an end to this blog. We have all reached a point in our lives where the daily stresses of life have become to demanding for us to maintain the crick. Obvious to our readers, this was a well executed, hilarious, and news breaking blog. It was nice for us contributors to say we actually did something that we said we were going to do for once, as many of our last projects have fell by the wayside (i.e. Inside Joke/Back From School). I know this must be tough for our vast region of readers, this blog was probably your homepages by now, but rest assured we will leave the blog here as a tribute to the hard work we put in. You will be able to go back to the classic A-Rod Oompa Loompa post, Biff's racial defense of Lil Wayne and every other nut gargling post of his other favorite rappers, and pretty much every one of Skittle's posts are a gem now that he never posts. We are destined to go down in the famed echelon of blogs, we'll be right up there with Fire Joe Morgan soon. For now, as B.O.B. says, Meet Us In The Sky.

http://metacricket.blogspot.com- Greatest Thing Of All Time(The Departed)
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Please Consider The Date And The Fact That I'm In Australia

New Wale

Wale's album, which is going to be called "Attention: Deficit" (see what he did with the colon there?) is going to drop some time this summer, which obviously makes me cream my jeans every time I think about it. Here is the first single, which I like many moons but Mike will obviously hate:

Granted, the beat is slightly annoying, what with the vocal sample shouting at you and rattling your speakers, but apparently the final mix is going to replace all that annoying shit with some Lady Gaga vocals, but I don't see how an artist named "Gaga" could possibly decrease the level of annoying on a song.
Irregardless, Gaga has been getting mad hype because she went to NYU and she writes her own songs and she's retro-trendy, which is pretty much the kind of shit that critics and hipsters eat up and overhype (see: MIA).
But this is not Gaga's show, it's Wale's show, and he does a great job of killing this beat, which I personally like. Here's my favorite lyrical excerpt:

Let's talk about the cars ya'll got
You say you got alotta whips, well I got a Lot
I got the right to be cocky
Get so much cut disc jockeys jock me
You niggas mad that you not me
I remain a Giant and you Jeremy Shockey

Do you get it? "You say you got a lotta whips, well i got a LOT." Christ jesus, that's murder.
His flow is always on point, and his lyricism combines the technical skills and intellectualism of Lupe Fiasco with the pop culture sensibility and wordplay of (2005-2007) Lil Wayne. So that means he's a combination of the best rapper alive and the "best rapper alive." You do the math on that one.
Once this song inevitably gets more refined for a major-label release then it will be the kind of feel-good summer banger that everyone will love and I will undoubtedly bump in the C-Bring while busting 5 knots in a 4 knot zone. Overall, a more-than-solid debut for my main man Wale.

"Chillin" - Sooo sick

I Hope You All Enjoy the View from the 3 Seed

Oww!!!!!

The Celtics announced today that they're shutting down Kevin Garnett, presumably for the rest of the (regular) season. FML. Right?
No but seriously, I don't want to get too upset about this. The Celtics are pretty much locked into the 3 seed, and regardless of whether they're the 2 or the 3, they'll still play the Magics in the second round. The only problem is that Orlando would have the home courteous advantageous, but if we can't steal a game in Orlando (with KG) then we don't deserve to be champions. I really don't see the playoff-tested C's having any problem with the still-a-year-away M's, considering Boston took the Fighting Dwights to the brink in Orlando sans KG.
Of course, this is all just delaying the inevitable: ThaBron is going to absolutely murder the 2009 NBA Playoffs. I'm talking like 35-12-10 averages type of murder. Seriously, there is no way the Celtics beat the Cavs this year, especially considering Cleveland has all but locked up home court and hasn't lost at home since the stock market crash (of 1929). LBJ has been playing all season like he knows that this is his time, and he's ain't gon' let nobody turn him 'round. This is ThaBron's year and we all just have to sit back and take it and just hope it doesn't hurt too much (considering I've been bracing for the beating for 6 months, I don't think it will be too bad). I mean, considering the Cavs came within a c-hair of beating the Celtics last year in Boston, I really don't see them taking more than 6 games this season to dispatch the C(hair)'s.
So in conclush, I wouldn't worry too much about the Celtics shutting KG down. They'll probably have to restart Paul Pierce at some point, and obviously Eddie House isn't responding, so they'll have to CTRL-ALT-DELETE him, but that never works anyway. Hopefully they get Stephon Marbury out of standby in time for the playoffs. Computer jokes!

"Shutting down" KG - Whatever
LeBron James - Greatest Player of All-Time (The Departed)

I Have an Enormous Tim Te-boner

Allegedly, this cutie-patooty is Tim Te-bro's bromantic companion. What a beautiful girl! I'm sure Tim enjoys spending lots of time with her and not having any pre-marital sexual relations. Honestly, how often do you think Tim jerks it? I mean there's only so much non-sexual intimate time that you can spend with a girl this "hot" before you blow your own brain (and load) through the back of your skull.
Irregardless, good for Tim, but would you expect any less from a man whose mere presence makes Jesus Christ himself weep?

Jay Electronica=Darker Blake Griffin.. and Vice Versa

Watch this shit skyrocket to the top of Google faster than a rocket in the sky.

BAAUSS Featuring NAAUSS

Biff's brain is probably about to explode as he has a strong affinity for Rick Rauce's bossness, but Nas is his sworn enemy. Anywhooo, this beat is pretty tight and Nas eats Ross alive on this track. I thought Chester, Anjina, and Brundgoo might wanna listen.

Usual Suspects- Sooo Sick

Duke to Get Another Skinny Kid Who Can Shoot the Lights Out

Last year, Stephen Curry went from nerdy-looking racially ambiguous skinny dorkus to offensive sensation after he exploded in the NCAA Tournament and single-handedly led Davidson to within a c-hair of a Final Fuh berth.
His brother, Seth, played at Liberty last season and led all freshmen in the nation, averaging over 20 points per game. Obviously Seth is good as fuck at basketball--possibly even better than his brother--and wants to play somewhere other than "Liberty," which I think plays in the same conference as Justice College and For All University. Well, guess where Seth decided to transfigurate to? You got it, DUKE MOTHERFUNKERZ!!!!!!!! This is fucking amazing news for loser tools like me that root for Puke U. I don't know if you all remember what happened last time Duke had a marginally athletic person who could shoot 3's, but here's just a taste:

I'm not saying that Seth is going to be the next JJ Reddick, but that's sort of what I'm saying. The only difference between Seth and JJ is going to be that Seth is a fucking G, whereas JJ is kind of a tool. I mean just imagine a senior Kyle Singler in the front court and Seth Curry sharing the back court with Nolan Smith. Seriously. That's fucking Final Fuh shit right there. Dick Vitale probably has an enormous boner right now, and I can't even imagine how excited they are in the BME building at Duke. They're probably doing extra celebratory problem sets and popping test tubes.
I'm calling it right now. March 2011 is going to be all Duke. Good luck everyone else!!

Seth Curry to Duke - Sickest Thing Ever

Blake Griffin Just Keeps Getting Cooler

I've been riding my boy Blake Griffin's C pretty hard all season long, and especially this tournament, because I picked him to single-handedly win the NCAA title and possibly share it with the rest of the Oklahoma "team" if he felt like it. Well, Blake tried his hardest: he averaged 26 points and 17 rebounds a game for the tournament, and showed that he can pretty much score at will whenever his STUPID STUPID STUPID teammates decided to pass him the ball instead of jacking terrible 3's. Also he did this, which seems to have people talking. It's unfortunate that OU is out, because Blake was by far the most compelling and exciting player in the tourney, but he also has another side that we haven't seen. Check this pic:
Firstly, that shirt is fresh as FUCK. It looks like something out of the Chester Sexton Springtime Collection, and check out Blake rocking the double middle fingers (a move that I pioneered, but will gladly share with Blake). That girl on the left is holding up two fingers indicating, "My two friends here will have sex with Blake at the same time later tonight, while I go back to my room and pleasure myself to his 2008-2009 season statistics." (That's actually what I do too.)
Evenways, Blake has proven himself to be a fucking unbelievable basketball talent, and is no doubt going to go number 1 in the draft, but now we also see that he knows how to dress himself and have a good time and pose for pictures in a cool way. I'm stoked to see what he's gonna wear to the NBA Draft, because his suit will undoubtedly be fucking weird but also awesome and on point.

Blake Griffin - Sickest Thing Ever

Needless To Say Tiger Is A G

I wasn't around to watch this shit in person nor on the television, but it undoubtedly busted hard as fucking fuck. I guarantee you if you polled the entire audience crowding around the 18th green 99 out of 100 would have said they thought he was gonna drain that shit. Say what you want about golf, but it is most definitely a sport, and Tiger is straight up one of the greatest athletic performers, competitors, and winners in sports history. Long ago he reached the point of greatness, where despite the fact that he dominated every event he entered, every one and their dog still loved him. In the late 90's Jordan was basketball, but his influence and monopolization of his respective sport pales in comparison to Tiger's reign on golf. He transformed the sport from a senior citizen pastime to the hip and dope thing to do. I started playing golf strictly because of Tiger, and the same can be said about millions of other kids my age. It's good to have him back, and this weekends performance was just one of the many examples of his greatness.

Tiger Woods- Greatest Thing Of All Time(The Departed)