Apparently David Ortiz will get his eyes checked this week. Ortiz has been complaining of "dry eyes" for some time. He claims this issue has nothing to do with his struggles this season, but I choose to believe different. Conspiracy theorists will say hes off the juice or he's been lying about his age, but it's gotta be the dry eyes syndrome. A steady diet of blinking should help. Perhaps a clip of Marley and Me could be shown before every Ortiz at bat, and he could weep uncontrollably to moisten his corneas. Really anything is worth trying at this point.
Making Fun Of David Ortiz- Really Shitty
Friday, June 5, 2009
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