Mustache March

I believe it was Keyshawn Johnson who once said, "When one door closes, another opens." Although this a gross misunderstanding of the physics of doors, it does make sense in the philosophical/existential sense. With February's door closing, we say goodbye to "No Shave February." But fret not my loyal minions! For we have a new facial hair door opening: Mustache March. Keyshawn was right.
Personally I've been rocking my beard pretty consistently since January, and I haven't shaved it all month, save for some minor landscaping to maintain my modeling contract. Alas, now I am conflicted: do I ditch the epic playoff beard--perhaps prematurely--in favor of a pedophile stache that will undoubtedly draw strange looks on the street and endless rejection from the ladies (not everyone can look as good as the great Keith Hernandez)? I'm still wrestling with this dilemma. Only time will tell where I take my facial lawn. Stay tuned.