Seriously, Tim Tebow, SHUT THE FUCK UP

So I guess in Florida people who go to UF are like way pretentious and elitist about it and shit, and I'm definitely starting to see how that's possible, because Tim Tebow alone has proven himself to be the most self-righteously annoying human being on the planet. I'm sure you've all seen his stupid contrived horseshit speech after the loss to Ole Miss last season. If you haven't then you're lucky, but watch this clip at 2:20:

My favorite part is how he got all fucking pumped up on Christ Juice and just dropped the "God Bless" bomb and straight peaced, as if that made him look cool or some shit. Seriously, this sounds like some shit that a 12 year old would say into a mirror, but hey, since Tim Tebow spent the past 4 summers restoring sight to blind kids and curing paraplegics then it's obviously all good, am I right?
We all know how this godforsaken story ends: the media sucks Tebow's god-loving dingleberries, Florida wins out, Sam Bradford wins the Heisman but gets no love from the announcers during the National Championship game, who are too busy telling us that Tebow can, in fact, suck his own dick, and God carries a trash-talking Teboner and UF to a second title in three years. Oh yeah, then Tebow does something actually substantive in society. Oh. Wait. He never fucking has, because all he is is a COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER.
Evenways, the plot thickens. Look at this shit:
This makes me vomit harder than I have been the past two days. I mean honestly? Maybe at least wait for the man to graduate. It pisses the shit out of me that somehow we're to believe that THE MOST TALENTED TEAM IN THE NATION WITH THE BEST COACH IN THE NATION somehow was willed to victory by one dude's unnatural post-game speech. They could have won their remaining games with their eyes closed. Let's also not forget that UF won a title in 2006 with this guy quarterbacking their team, so let's not fondle Tebow's balls too much just yet.
In conclusion, the Tim Tebow jock-riding has got to stop, at least until the Patriots draft him.

Tim Tebow - Worst Thing of All-Time (The Jonas Brothers/The New Facebook)