A-Rod is a C**+ Bucket

So apparently the Rod tested ++++++ for a-roids back in the day. What a fucking shitface. I hope Madonna enjoys gargling his shriveled raisin balls every night. I'm sure he was using the cream, because we all know how much the Rod loves cream. HAHAHAHAH!!!!
But seriously, how much does this suck for baseball fans? The Rod was supposed to go down as the greatest of all-time, a guy who was above all the steroids hoopla and bullshit, a guy who could legit hit/suck on 800 dongs because of his natural ability to hit a ball with a club. But now when he breaks the home run record it's just going to be Bonds redux, and no one will give a shit because he was juicing. This sucks and Tim KURK-jian and I are pissed.
There is a lot of good in this, however. Firstly, A-Rod was bad enough in big spots, but imagine how much more he'll suck with fat drunk guys yelling at him about his shriveled balls and his cheating ways. This is great fodder for the unruly Fenway crowd. I bet in his first at-bat in Boston this year, the Rod is just gonna step up to the plate, take a swing, step out, and start crying, because the crowd will be shoving verbal machetes up his ass. But it gets even better for Sox fans: this Rod news means that pretty much every member of the Yankees was on steroids at some time, while David Ortiz remains the only good hitter who hasn't tested positive. The Red Sox organization has a fucking sterling record when it comes to steroid cleanliness. While all the other kids were busy shoving needles into each other's asses, Sox players like Kevin Youkilis and (2008 AL MVP!!!!!!) Dustin Pedroia were busy like, I don't know, practicing baseball and shit?

A-Rod ruining baseball history - Worst Thing of All-Time
Having new shit to yell at the Rod during games - Sooo Sick
The Red Sox being the cleanest organization in all of baseball - Greatest Thing of All-Time (The Departed)