Last-minute Oscar Preview

This post goes out to my late dog Oscar Wilde Frank, who was tragically murdered by lethal injection on September 19, 2005. Luv ya bro. Pour one out for Oscar tonight while you're watching the Oscars. Here are my picks, 15 minutes before the ceremony, for what they're worth ($46.78).

Best Picture other than The Dark Knight
Slumdog Millionaire
Did you see it?

Best Actor
Sean Penn
He busted hard as fuck in Milk.

Best Actress
Kate Winslet
I would.

Best Supporting Actor
Heath Ledger
If you say that he's not going to win then you're an insensitive racist asshole.

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz
I may be in love with her. I give her a resounding fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh.

Best Blog
Metacricket
Go fuck yaself.

I hope all of these picks are right!!!!
By the way, The Dark Knight was the best movie of the year by far: it was more entertaining/breath-taking/exhilarating/Slumdoggy than Slumdog Billionjillionaire, and more well-made than any of the other Best Picture nominees (except for maybe Milk, which was fucking unbelievable and was probably better than Slumdog but won't win). I mean if you're going to sit there and tell me that Benjamin Button--which was good, but the kind of movie that is made with the sole intention of getting like 25 Oscar nominations in mind--was better than The Dark Knight then you're just a liar or a pretentious jerk. You can't tell me that The Dark Knight wasn't one of the FIVE best movies of the year. Come on. It was an amazing movie: critics busted a nut all over it, everyone who saw it busted a nut all over themselves when they saw it, and it was a cultural event in the same category as Titanic, Lord of the Rings, and Gladiator--ALL OF WHICH WON BEST PICTURE. The Academy snubbed the shit out of The Dark Knight, and I'm still pissed.